May Started in April This Year

If there’s one thing I can count on, year after year, it’s that May will be a little bit crazy.

It’s predictably unpredictable. In our family, Bob and I always celebrate our anniversary in May (25 years—thank you, Lord!), and there are soccer tryouts alongside the usual mix of graduations, First Holy Communion, Mother’s Day, the end of the school year, and wrap-up parties for clubs, teams, and organizations. When we’re lucky, there’s also a bit of summer vacation planning. With the boys coming home from college this year and a speaking engagement scheduled at the end of the month, I’ll be packing and unpacking as I bounce from Iowa to Texas to Washington state.

But what caught me off guard this year was the early arrival of the May-antics—in April.

We received the sad news of the Pope’s passing, may he rest in peace. Though he had been ill and was not a young man, the announcement still came as a surprise. That same week, we learned that both our beloved parish priest and the associate pastor were being reassigned. My sweet mother church experienced a bit of a shake-up. As May begins, I find myself trusting again that the Holy Spirit will continue to guide her.

On top of that, my daughter was hit with the fallout from a baffling policy at her soccer club: if a player decided to switch clubs for the next season (July–May), she would be immediately terminated from her current team—even in April. We still had three league games left and a final tournament weekend in California. Back in March, the coach had assured us in writing that, regardless of future offers, all players would be expected and welcome to stay through Memorial Day.

At 13, my daughter had never been “fired” before. I worried how she’d take the news. Her response was refreshingly straightforward: “That’s really unfair and totally crappy.” She never got to say goodbye to teammates she had spent countless hours with. We didn’t get any refund in training or travel fees. The whole thing lacked integrity and compassion.

But then she bounced back in a way that amazed me.

She showed a docility I still struggle to master. This week, we’ve gardened together, she’s gone for runs, signed up at the local gym, worked out independently, and spent time with friends outside of soccer. I’ve started to wonder if, in some strange way, we were handed a gift—an abrupt end to a situation that had been unhealthy all year. The Band-Aid was ripped off. Yes, it was done poorly, but it’s off now. And that, in itself, is good.

So here we are in May.

My son’s college graduation is coming up, and both boys will be back home for the summer. One final episode of Parenting Smarts will be released as we wrap up this season’s focus on cultivating virtues. My book manuscript is in its final revision phase with my co-author, Dan Burke (backstory here), and I’m looking forward to spending the summer creating content for my all-inclusive fall parenting retreat Faithful Foundations: Empowering Catholic Parents in Spokane (come join me!!).

Or at least that is what I expect. Because we know that May will be a month of change for us and maybe for you too: a new Pope, new priests, a new soccer club and team, and a new family dynamic (help me, Lord, to smoothly transition to cooking for six again!). When I was younger, I really struggled with change. I still want to plan every last detail. But with age and the Lord’s grace, I’m learning to live with a little more docility to the Spirit. Plan, yes—but also plan to adapt. Be open to a new path, or perhaps just a new way of walking the same path.

Change is good. It’s inevitable. And when it’s healthy, it brings growth. Thank you for journeying with me through this wild, unpredictable adventure called life.

P.S.
If you're looking for a good summer read, Daughter by Design is still available on my website or on Amazon. It also makes a great graduation gift for that special young woman in your life!