Service and Connection
Three Things to Think about
A Carefully Placed Yes
In Episode 122 of Parenting Smarts Podcast, I spoke with Melissa DeLaney about the role of service in our connection to God and one another. We discussed the benefits of time spent volunteering, can help us to lighten up about our own difficulties, and gain a healthier perspective on life itself. She shared a truly beautiful story of being on the receiving end of a life saving gift. Not all of us will be able to serve in a way that will save a life, but many of us are asked to served and it isn’t always clear if we responded the right way.
I have mentally returned to my conversation with Melissa so many times in the last few weeks as I struggled to meet my commitment to serve leading our neighborhood BBQ. It is an annual event that brings together our community in a fun night of conversation and food. I thought I had made a carefully placed yes, but it was a much more involved and stressful position than I initially realized. I doubted my wisdom is agreeing to serve so much in the 5 months that preceded the event.
Yet, as I stood before the 100 or so people with a mic in my hand I realized that it was a well placed “yes”. I wanted to give them more than just the normal “thanks for coming & have a good night” opener. My very reason for serving at that event was deeply tied to my longing to build a stronger, healthier neighborhood. It was grounded in the months of research I had done on relationship and connection and well-being.
So in my typical style, I deviated from the norm, and spewed some data at them. I told them all about the loneliness epidemic, how loneliness effects their minds and bodies, and even longevity. I encouraged them to come to the book club or monthly coffee, to get out and walk in the evening, and to stop and say hello to one another. I gave them permission to be “weird” and make eye contact and smile at the stranger who lives down the street.
Most importantly, I started the evening with a challenge “get to know your neighbors - introduce yourself to someone new tonight!” And in that moment, I found why the Lord had lead me to say “yes” to leading that event. I was there simply for THAT moment, where I had the opportunity, and a captive audience (that was maybe just hoping for the pulled pork perfection on the table behind me), to encourage my neighbors to connect in a meaningful way.
Your “yes” to serve wont look like mine. You have your own set of gifts and talents. But when you are invited to serve, take it to prayer, and ask the Lord if it is a something He wants you to do. Then trust in Him and make a well placed Yes (or No) with confidence that He will help you do the job, even if you don’t understand why at the time.
🧠 One thing to Ponder
“If you want to BE more holy, you need to simply ACT as a disciple and Serve.”
— Father Juan (St. Matthew Parish, Hillsboro Oregon)Where are you being called to act as a disciple and serve right now?
✍🏼 One Quote
“Humility does not only refer to the modest knowing of ourselves and the things we cannot do… it also means knowing the things that we can do, and stepping up to do it, in community.”
— St Teresa of Avila
🌎 One Tip
Do It Together
Have your children involved serving face to face, not just watching you write a donation check. That will help them to connect the action with the outcome. One of our favorite things is to make little essentials bags to hand out to people we see who are living on the streets. We make the bags together, then keep a few of them in the car. The kids have loved being able to help someone else in a small but meaningful way.
🫶🏼 Shareable correlations
Research shows that volunteering is correlated with:
Sharper mental acuity
Increased social connections
Improved emotional regulation
Stronger immune systems
Lower depression and anxiety
Lower mortality rates
For more on the benefits for you and your kids, listen to the full episode [HERE].
For more parenting resources head over to www.maryruthhackett.com